2/25/2023 0 Comments High maintenance![]() She thinks she needs to look her best to make sure her man doesn’t wander. It’s possible that a high maintenance woman is taking hours to get ready to signal to her partner that she’s of high value (and worth waiting around for), and to signal to others that her status is not to be competed against. Research shows that women (young women especially) will guard their mates closely: enhancing their appearance, signaling to other women that their partner is off the market, or using emotional manipulation to keep a partner close. Following this theory, a woman needs to not only get a partner, but keep him from straying. According to evolutionary theory, it may all be about you- even when it’s about her. We covered in a previous blog how both partners use different retention strategies to keep their mate around. When does all the grooming stop being about me, and start being about her? That’s real, right?īut we’re already in a relationship. Today we call it many things most of which can’t be reprinted here- but the concept is usually depicted in movies where hot girls sabotage each other for comedy’s sake while the nerd wins out. Darwin coined this phenomenon intrasexual selection: competition between members of the same-sex for access to members of the opposite sex for mating. High maintenance women are just utilizing all possible resources for the win. So by example, in modern times make-up, clothing choices, altering appearance and/or flirting- these could be seen as tactics utilized by women in competition with other women for the high-status man’s attention. Of course, with a limited pool of partners, competition would arise within each side to gain the attention of high value mates, particularly for those who could display those coveted characteristics. Those that possessed these desirable characteristics have a higher mate value (a ‘10’) than those without (a ‘4’), and could therefore be choosier in their partner acquisition strategy. ![]() Considering the risk involved for women in choosing a mate to have children with (e.g., he could leave, he could be unfaithful, or there might be issues in conceiving or raising children), it behooves her to know her value and choose the highest status partner available.Įach individual has a constellation of these traits that would translate into an overall mate value. These would be considered high mate-value partners. Men therefore should be looking for women who are young and attractive (since those are tells of fertility), while women should be looking for men who are resourceful, high-status and able to stick around to raise the offspring. Everyone wants to maximize their chances on having strong healthy offspring. The evolutionary theory of mate choice starts with the idea that reproductive success is the foundation for choosing a mate. Researchers who study the tactics of mate attraction probably saw the movie and said, “of course! That’s just evolution at work.” High maintenance is just today’s term for a well-tuned competition strategy to win over a high mate-value partner. Considering all the work involved, is it worth dating a high maintenance woman? High maintenance women just “want it the way they want it” and settling for something less is just unacceptable. Just about everyone tries to “spruce themselves up” for a dating partner this type of woman might demand perfection in one or more of these areas. ![]() ![]() While I do think that Harry was a bit harsh on Sally, we’ve all encountered a truly high maintenance woman. The above scene from ‘When Harry Met Sally’ brought the concept of the “high maintenance woman” into everyday conversations on love and dating. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.” There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. “Ingrid Bergman- now she’s low maintenance. Everyone wants to maximize their chances of getting the best partner possible, but considering all the work, is it worth it dating a high maintenance woman? According to researchers, “high maintenance” is just today’s term for a well-tuned competition strategy to win over a high mate-value partner. She makes hoop-jumping seem like a normal part of dating, is constantly making their partners prove their worthiness either through displays of affection, commitment or status – which she may or may not reciprocate. She spends an excessive amount of time on herself. The phrase “high maintenance woman” casually refers to a woman who places exceptionally high standards on herself and her dating partner. ![]()
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